Wednesday, November 04, 2009
WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG.
you sit there in your heartache,
waiting on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways,
you play forgiveness, watch it now, here he comes,
he dosent look a thing like jesus but he talks like a gentlemen like you imagined
WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG.
I miss not knowing a thing about the ugly side of the world.
Everything I thought when I was a little girl unfortunately did not happen.
HAH (:
but still, maybe someday!
& right.
i've been hearing many many stories.
stories as in people's conversation with each other or their experience they share.
& mistakes some made were scary.
I DON'T WANT TO TURN OUT LIKE THAT.
I want to live a happy life.
Like my mum & dad (:
HAHAHAHA.
okay, I think I'm just going crazy sometimes.
to me; just don't live life in fear
Oh well, growing old alr.
SIGH. must ZHAO for work
-.-!
boring boring BORING.
& T I R I N G.
):
TTFN.
; carmella [L]
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
hello to the girl sitting over there!you've gotta hang on no matter what happens.& honestly sometimes words can be kept unspoken but actions help reassure me.you tend to lose yourself at times when everything seem to be going wrong.BUT LOOK WHAT YOU'VE GAIN!lessons & a dear friend who'd always be beside you come what may.i love you.TTFN.
; carmella [L]
Monday, November 02, 2009
READ MY BLOG.
you're a rockstar, everybody wants you.we're the ones who made you.I read a part in nicholas spark's at first sight,it spoke about how parenting can only affect a percentage of how the child grows up to be like, the rest, well the child just grows up to be who he/she is made to be.Initially, I wanted to disagree but on further thinking it's true!Parents do not have 100% control of the kid.A teacher can influence, friends as well!not speaking about the society!And if parents try to contain all these, it might just only backfire (proven by stats in the net, go check it out yourselves) & kids become their parents worst nightmare!my parents might not have EXCELLENT parenting skills,
But they've provided me enough to made me who I am today!
Alive & breathing & still learning.
TTFN one & all.
; carmella [L]
Saturday, October 31, 2009
TIRED OF THE WORLD'S NONSENSE.once again,I'm getting used to let downs.I wonder if I can ever be immune to it.Why would you want to hold me up just to bring me down?
Maybe it's not like that. Maybe it's how forgetful human beings are.Maybe it slipped your mind.Maybe it's just my own sick humour.MAYBE.ttfn, happy halloween! boo!
{ why do we even say happy halloween?! }
; carmella [L]
Friday, October 30, 2009
feverishly browsing through shopbop.com;
UNHEALTHY!
&
&
&
I WANT THE MY BOYFRIEND JEANS SOOOO BAD.
ttfn.
; carmella [L]
EVERYTHING YOU DO, THERE'S ALWAYS AN EXPLANATION?
yes/no
so, eshlyn's birthday.
It really actually happened in a FLASH.
That girl is alr nineteen.
Welcome to DA club.
Feeling NINEteen isn't exactly that wonderful bcos you know it's your last year of being a TEEN baby!
BUT. WHAT. EVER.
Who says being young stops at a certain age.
let me tell you, NO ONE.
So yes, being nineteen kinda rock cos you get to be a lot wiser than you were (really?! LOL. @ least I feel like that lah k!) not speaking about how you laugh at your stupid 18 yr old moments { Eg. Trying alcohol for the very first time and getting really high afterwards... before you know it, you got the dream state of most 18 yr old youth so aspire to be and that is being DEAD WASTED! whooo!! scream for joy! } -> dufus!
No, i'm not trying to mock anyone out there or even myself cause' I only got my "high-est" when I'm nineteen.
I am just merely observing my own community (:
BTW, Who the hell said FUN came in this form (refer to dufus line)?!?!
More like you're made your own laughing stalk.
BUT HELL, it's how you live your teen life man!
It's not wrong to PARTY, GET HIGH & LISTEN TO POP/RNB/TRANCE.
IN FACT;
it's awesome to have such memories.
It makes you
look back & have a really good LAUGH.
AS FOR ESHLYN'S BIRTHDAY.
words are not gd enough.
so here,
good day one & all.
GD - DAY.TTFN!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
THIS PIECES DON'T FIT HERE ANYMORE.
well I can't explain why it's not enough cause I gave it all to you.
you pulled me under, I had to give in.
Such beautiful mess that's breaking my skin.
While I hide all the bruises, i hide all the damage that's done.
I'll show how I'm feeling till all the feeling has gone.
what's the better thing to do?
I seriously have no idea.
ANYWAY.
I want to shop but I wanna save money.
I want to go crazy without feeling guilty.
Sometimes, I make ME my worst enemy!
pinch of my life;
there isn't any left to say.
I'm at a state where I can laugh at one moement and be all weepy the next.
I feel like I'm standing on this line that divides my logic and my emotions.
On this line, it's where I dwell for taking any step either to the left or the right makes me feel uneasy.
standing on this bold thick line, I'd succumb to this.
When I take a breath and give it a thought, I'd say A.
After a while and give me 5 more mins, I'd move my earlier decision to B.
After i feel like it's B that's right, I prance around the room and let out a sigh.
Maybe it's C that I really want?
But all in all, what do I want?
and I see myself drawing a cricle. This circle of no ending.
A, B, C repeat*
and more letters appear D E F? G H I?
this thing. It drives me insane on the inside.
Words ain't enough for you to understand aren't they?
I guess not.
and you you you,
Ever stare into the mirror and think "WHO ARE YOU?" cause I've been doing that lately.
unfortuantely, the answers I seek for are answers I'll never find.
And, it's mentally taxing to the extent of mind draining. KAPEESH!
if you know what I mean.
TTFN.
" i used to be love drunk but now I'm hung-over "
Saturday, October 17, 2009
THE WHOLE UGLY TRUTH.
today I realised;
you live for no one but yourself. (wrong)
I live for everyone I love & that includes me, my family, my boyfriend, my best friends.
There's no such thing as mr perfect (wrong)
you get your mr perfect by your own mindest.
Friends are leaving me (wrong)
I'm not trying my best to keep in touch.
I feel confused (wrong)
It's only because I forgot about sanity.
My life is awful (wrong)
It's not really. It's just me being pessimistic.
& THE WHOLE TRUTH BOUT THIS.
I tend to live my life with my heart and ignore the whole logical part to life.
THE ABOVE - it's neither good or bad. It's rather about regrets. Then again, what's life without regrets? umm. I don't know. Honestly, it's only when you feel regret, pain and suffering then you've truly lived life. I thought about it. Why must I always play the good girl? I'm sick of it. & of course, i'm not gonna be those bad ass bitch who'd lost all morals to life. DUH. no. Anyway, someone told me, earth is no heaven. It's just a place where god put us to test. The ones who are worthy deserves to be rewarded & the best gift from him is his love and a place called heaven. So dudes and dettes, be good people. Have morals. Have heart. listen to god. Right right, i'm not here to preach! (: IYAH just be good human beings okay. Don't steal. Don't cheat. Don't commit murder. Don't rape. Don't do bad things! as much as i'm telling you people, I need to get this message into my head as well.
fuck this world for the many evils but thank god for it made me learn valuable priceless lessons in life.
ENOUGH ABOUT ME.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DUNNO HOW MANY YRS OF BEST FRIEND SHIP.
ESHLYN LIM! omg, i'm so happy (:
hees.
gonna meet em sn.
loves (:
NOTE TO SELF:
stay strong carmella even if the whole world feels like it's crumbling down.
& no one's there to listen to you.
ttfn.
; carmella [L]
